CLIPPINGS FROM THE FRIDGE: 28 WRONGS DON'T MAKE THE RIGHT

Clippings From the Fridge is a regular series here, inspired by the Two Nuns, One Gun story. These are wacky true news stories straight from the insanity fringe of society. 

 

 

SC county GOP wants hopefuls to sign purity pledge

Read more here: http://www.modbee.com/2012/03/06/2099834/sc-county-gop-wants-hopefuls-to.html#storylink=cpy

Anti-Purist Democrat

LAURENS, S.C. -- A county Republican group in South Carolina wants its candidates to promise to not cheat on their spouses and not watch pornography. But the state GOP says it would be illegal to keep candidates off the ballot only because they refuse to sign the pledge.

Bobby Smith, the chairman of the Laurens County Republicans, says the "purity pledge" endorsed by the group last month is meant to encourage good values in the party's candidates. He says it won't prevent anyone from getting on the ballot.

The pledge would require candidates to promise they have not had premarital sex and will protect gun rights and oppose abortion, among other things. 

The state Republican party says it would be illegal to enforce such a pledge.

There are a few more rules they'd like candidates to obey.  I picked only the most reasonable to reprint out of a list of 28: 

Read more here: http://www.modbee.com/2012/03/06/2099834/sc-county-gop-wants-hopefuls-to.html#storylink=cpy

*You must oppose abortion, in any circumstances.

* You must uphold the right to have guns, all kinds of guns.

* You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.

* You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.

* You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.

You must have:

* "A compassionate and moral approach to teen pregnancy."

Imagine the cast of characters (aka "candidates") lining up in South Carolina to run?  Priests, Boyscout leaders and a Penn State assistant football coach.

"Power is not alluring to pure minds."  - Thomas Jefferson

Sources:

Modesto Bee

Aikenstandard.com

Read more here: http://www.modbee.com/2012/03/06/2099834/sc-county-gop-wants-hopefuls-to.html#storylink=cpy

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CLIPPINGS FROM THE FRIDGE: OBAMA WINS BY A DOG HAIR

Clippings From the Fridge is a regular series here, inspired by the Two Nuns, One Gun story. These are wacky true news stories straight from the insanity fringe of society.

  Dog Registers to Vote

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico (KOB) -  An Albuquerque, New Mexico man says he successfully registered his dog to vote in Bernalillo County. 

The dog owner said he saw a voter registration booth on the University of New Mexico's campus a few weeks ago and decided to see how easy it would be to register his dog to vote.

He said he was trying to expose the problems with the registration system. 

He received the dog's voter registration card in the mail Wednesday. 

"They should verify. Somebody should have verified this information and somebody should have come out and took a look at exactly who it was. But I made up a birth date, and I made up a social security number and I had a voter registration card in my hand for Buddy two weeks later," the dog owner said.

When asked for comment the Bernalillo County Clerk's Office said state law does not require proof of your Social Security number, your date of birth, or even your name, and added what this man did is voter fraud. 

They also said they strictly look over all the applications that come from third-party registration agencies before sending out registration cards. 

Still, Buddy the dog made it through the system. 

"We're going to have a lot of people that are registered to vote that shouldn't be able to vote," the dog owner said.

He said he has no intention of voting under Buddy's name. 

Of note, the dog was registered as a democrat, the owner is a republican.

On election day, when Obama gets reelected, now you will know why.  Anyone, anything, be it living being or inanimate object can register to vote, at least in New Mexico.  I believe the correct term for this is "Going to Hell in a handbasket", though I think we may already be there. 

Source:
WLBZ Bangor

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CLIPPINGS FROM THE FRIDGE: J.C. IN A WHEELCHAIR

Clippings From the Fridge is a regular series here, inspired by the Two Nuns, One Gun story. These are wacky true news stories straight from the insanity fringe of society.

Wheelchair Man Charged In Convenience Store Robbery

CHIEFLAND (CBSMiami) – A Chiefland man’s cunning plan to hold up a convenience store with a knife all went south, according to police, when his wheelchair got stuck in the sand behind the store when he tried to make his get away.

The Chevron clerk told police that 22-year old John Christopher Champion had been going in and out of the store for several hours in his motorized wheelchair. Just before 10 p.m., the clerk said Champion piloted his chair behind the counter and demanded cash from the register as he brandished a pocket knife.

The 54-year old clerk said she fought back and in her struggle with Champion she stabbed him three times in the leg before he overpowered her. He then allegedly rolled out of the store with a 12-pack of beer and a roll of electrical tape.

When officers arrived, they found Champion stuck in the sand behind the store drinking a Bud Light Lime, according to the Gainesville Sun.

When confronted, police said Champion admitted to stealing the beer and tape from the store but added that he didn’t rob it. He also told police that he urged the clerk to hit the alarm button because they would never arrest a handicapped person.

He got that wrong.

Champion was arrested and charged with armed robbery and aggravated battery. He was then treated for the stab wounds in his leg and booked into the Levy County jail.

The Gainesville Sun contributed to this report.

Sometimes life is just way too ironic.  First name is John. Last name is Champion.  Initials = J.C.  Already he's doomed 'cause few can live up to J.C.'s name, let alone this dude's own last name of Champion. He wants to rob a store.  In a wheelchair.  With a pocket knife.  So you zoom in and out of the store for hours?  With a haircut that looks like a skid mark down your scalp?  Oh yeah, no one's going to recognize you, J.C.   The clerk grabs the knife and where does she stab him?  In the leg of course, the most effective place to stab a wheelchair-bound robber.   J.C. takes off with a 12-pack and some electrical tape only to get stuck in sand.  

The apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree.  Can't you just see the family reunions?  All those Champions waving their Bud Light Lime's singing We Are The Champions with black electrical tape down the middle of their scalps. 

Source:
CBS Miami

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