MICHAEL JACKSON: UNPLUGGED
>> Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Is it safe now? Can I finally plug the TV back in without seeing a tribute/memorial/special on Michael Jackson? You'd think Jesus came back and died all over again with all this media coverage. Mark Sanford (remember him?) is probably booking another flight to Argentina to see his soul mate 'cause who the hell would notice with all the Jackson crap going on?
Tonight I put the news on only to see Paris, the legal daughter of Michael, in an NFL huddle on a stage sobbing about her dad. To be honest, she's the only one I've yet to feel bad for in this mess. I haven't seen Blanket or Pillow yet, but they'd probably make me feel bad, too. They didn't ask to be dragged into the freak show.
One of the lesser freaks, Jackson's former 'wife' Debbie Rowe (below left), the separated at birth twin of Tonya Harding (below right), yelled, "Don't f***ing touch me!" to the paparazzi the other day, the very same words she yelled to Jackson on their wedding night.
Weird as he was, I will never dispute the fact that the creature was talented. I even have a Thriller album. Yes, the kind that needs a needle and a turn table to play on. Granted it sits in my garage loft, probably all warped and no longer any good...no different than Jackson himself. I have to admit I loved to watch him dance, though...until the crotch grabbing started. I don't know if he had an itch or if he was just checking to make sure his privates didn't go the way of his nose, but Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch doesn't do it for me. In fact it only induces nausea.
Lots of people are ripping apart Long Island Rep. Peter King for his remarks regarding the media coverage of Jackson's death. Finally. Someone who is not afraid to be the epitome of nonpolitical correctness. No one but the children in Jackson's life knows whether Jackson was a pedophile or not, but Jeeze, let's err on the side of caution and common sense here. Consider Jackson's own admission that he gave the chill-run Jesus Juice and liked to sleep in the same bed with them. He also admitted he liked to sit in a tree with his chimp, Bubbles. Yet people are jumping all over King when the King of Pop was jumping all over the chill-run? Once again, proof the insanity fringe is alive and well.
Jackson's dead, yet the freak show lives on: A memorial where you have to enter your name on an online site to win tickets to attend. "Mourners" arriving like it's a red carpet event smiling and waving for the cameras. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were speakers. Need I go on?
I guess I'll only turn the TV on to watch Discovery Channel's Deadliest Catch where the only time those guys grab their crotch is to shake the crabs off.
Photos: None are by me, that's for damned sure.
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20 comments:
Funny blog, but you will need to leave your TV off for a few more months. You see the media has honored Jackson for nearly two weeks, but now he has returned to the earth the earth will no come out. You know--the dirt. We are going to hear so much dirt about what a nasty little man this guy was in the coming weeks. Put your seat belt on. Something tells me it's fair game at midnight.
Hilarious, as usual Deb!
I think that this the first time in awhile that I've thought Tonya was pretty.
BB: Yup, let the mud slinging begin!
RG: When you put Tonya's photo in with all the others on this post, she's a friggin' beauty queen.
Ooooo... you catchin' crabs... I might just have to watch that... :P
Leave Tonya alone. She's Straight Up White Trash and I love her.
LL: No crab-catching here!
Wirecutter: LOL - that she is!
First of all, I'm with you on Jackson Freak Boy and his family of jackals. I love that word-jackals. Secondly, be careful not to slam da boys when you talk about Keith, Phil, Andy, Jonathan and Sig! They da shit!!!
What they said... turn the t.v. on but keep the remote very handy, watch out for "Michael" sightings from all media, but most of all, feel sad for the real hero's and their families, our service people, who don't seem to merit even the tiniest bit of media respect...http://honorandremember.org/index.php... this is a good site to start with... maybe there's hope for us yet... I guess I'm just tired of "those people" for a while Deb...
Come on...they're not twins. Tanya would kick her ass in a closed-cage match...and all I can say about MJ is that with Bush out of the office and Paris strangely out of the paparazzi...we need more strange media freaks to die to keep our blog fodder fueled.
I love you Michael!
Just kidding.
(in Jacko's best falsetto) hee hee!
The tears and adulation are over, but he'll have to turn over in his grave many moons before the dirt (pun intended) settles on this creature and his business.
Don: Did you happen to see the headlines of the Boston Herald when freak boy died? "Fade to Blacko". They apologized the next day for being so crude. Wusses.
Never, EVER would I slam the boys of DC! Do they earn a paycheck or what?!
TJ: Media only shows what sells. I just happened upon a story about more troops heading to Afghanastan last week. Never saw that on the news. Godspeed to our troops wherever they may be in the world.
VE: I don't know that Tonya would kick Debbie Rowe's butt. I think it could be close. Blog fodder for sure!
Quirky: "Creature" - good choice of words!
My sentiments, exactly! I bow down to your perceptiveness.
Whoa, Deb!
You wax eloquent when the moon is full, the stars are aligned, and the broom is fueled!
See you up there tonight? I have a new side car for the Baby Harley - will Nutjob be accompanying you, jaw to right carotid, as usual?
Could be bumpy, as tornado watches still in the air. Let's ride!
Don't forget your hat. And the nose. The nose is good. Wear the nose. And the hat. See ya!
PS: Do you have an extra glove?
CatLadyLarew: No need to bow here. Just send money.
Claire: The broom is always fueled and ready to ride, as is the nose. No tornado watches here, just more of the same fog/rain/mist and 54 friggin' degrees. I am wearing all my gloves to keep my hands warm but I might be able to find you a sequined one in the closet.
This is hilarious, thanks for the morning laugh! As for MJ being buried for good, nope not even maybe! After all, look at Elvis, they still bury and re-bury him every year! Not to mention all those freaks that still see him alive and kicking all the time. They still can't believe he's dead, they'd rather believe that he just went home. You know, the way M.I.B. say's "Elvis didn't die, he just went home!" meaning to his home planet...lol. It will be the same with MJ unfortunately!
Skye: Glad you laughed - though how can you not laugh when looking at MJ? I miss the skinny Elvis. The fat Elvis was down right creepy.
Um, Gotham Chopra (named for Batman?) told Huffington Post that Jackson wanted him to contact Kim Jong-Il because if the dictator was a fan maybe he'd be able to get the political prisoners released. Sadly, he died before achieving detente.
Meanwhile, he let Bubbles just sit in a frigging zoo. I hope Anderson Cooper eased his pain. That guy's back on my shit list. All the goodwill he earned with his Katrina coverage? Gone, like poo flung from a chimp's ass. Let's never watch TV again.
Kathcom: Honestly, I am sounding very much like the senior set in my rants and raves about Hollywood, TV, California and friggin' Al Gore. I am ready to have the satellite TV shut off, but then I'd miss Deadliest Catch and Cake Boss, and that would be a shame. Never did care for Anderson Cooper, though these days I don't like pretty much anyone.
True, I'm at the point where I wish there were an Ice Road Truckers channel or something.
Cake Boss sounds intriguing....
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