TWO NUNS, ONE GUN
>> Monday, August 10, 2009
There are a few very yellowed and curled newspaper clippings held on my refrigerator with magnets. I cannot part with them because though they are a decade old, I still laugh when I read them. You thought I kept Dude Man's school work on there from his younger years? Pffft! Yeah, right.
One clipping is a story out of the lovely Bogota, Columbia, picked up by Reuters:
August 1999
Columbia
NUNS SHOOT, KILL THIEF IN SANCTUARY
Bogota - Two Roman Catholic nuns shot and killed a thief who broke into their sanctuary in central Columbia Wednesday night, authorities said yesterday. The nuns, who have not been named, blasted the intruder in the head with a .38-caliber Smith & Wesson revolver after they heard strange noises in the corridors of the Sanctuary of the Virgin of Miracles. The nuns were released on bail.
A nun with at least one head shot under her habit that we know of? Hell! I mean Damn!.. ahhhm.., golly gee, I'd consider going back to church if this is how nuns are. I'd even put ammo in the collection basket.
Way to go, Sistah!
Posts
13 comments:
Well, now those ladies look downright comfy in their Catholic cowgirl torture gear. As I have indicated in the past, Deb, (since Jesus did not seem to have you or me in mind when he was doing auditions for sunbeams), if you are, in fact, going to go to church (Glory Be!), after you empty your pockets of ammo for the collection basket, you are entitled to sneak a communion host into that same pocket, and take it home. For an emergency, or for when you need a miracle. Or a night light.
How can you not laugh at a story like that? It's kinda like an 80's rock video...
Listen, I worked alongside the 'Sisters of Mercy' once, and I would never have let that lot near a 'Smith & Weston!'
Time for confession.
Well, hum....remind me not to seek comfort in their church in the middle of the night, GOSH DERN IT!
If I were a nun, I'd have six pack...no, not abs..but diet dr. pepper under my garb!
Ha!
Claire: Hey! Are you insinuating I am not a sunbeam? ME? Suzie Sunshine??? Ya got that right! I will never, however, go home with a holy host ghost in my pocket unlike some people I know. Ah hem.
LL: I have to admit I did not laugh as hard as I did when watching the writhing Billy Squier video...which by the way is playing in another tab as I write this!
Adullamite: Few people understand that nuns play hardball.
Maelstrom: I looked up this story on the internet before I posted it to check the date. I found a couple of sites that said Sister Silva, the one credited with the head shot, went off the deep end because in her eyes she committed a deadly sin. So I guess it would have been better if she was the killee rather than being the killer in her eyes. THAT's why I don't go to church. I do not want to be the killee!
RG: Stay away from any church in the middle of the night, or middle of the day for that matter. Scary places, those churches.
Quirky: You could easily play Kathy Najimy's part in Sister Act!
Oh, Yeah! That I want to see... target practice at the convent. I bet they light all the candles and then try to snuff them out with their wicked mad marks-nun skills. I mean, Holy Hell... Bitchin' Nuns they've got there!
CatLadyLarew: Can't you just see them now? Back of the church, rifle resting on the back of a pew, one by one they take aim at the cross hanging above the altar. Closest shot to the center of the cross gets a candle lit in their name for one week!
Hey, Suzie Sunshine. I went public on your site, confessing to host theft. You never know when you will need a Holy Ghost in your pocket on a dark night. And the word is AMEN, not AH HEM. Geeeez. See you on All Soul's Night, and I hope they are kind to you!
Claire: You need to have that baby bronzed and wear it around your neck 24/7. All Soul's Night is Halloween, right? I might dress up as Mary (the hooker, not the virgin...as if I had to even say that).
That story is crazy. Like someone said above, how can you not laugh at it. And it does sound like some crazy Twisted Sister video or something. Very entertaining. You could make your clippings a weekly column you know, Deb.
CC: Nuns with guns is a riot! I would love to make clippings a weekly post...if only I had more clippings!
Post a Comment