BAREFOOT BUTT
>> Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Spring has sprung
Winter's gone (Pffft! Yeah, right.)
Time to drop 10
And put on the thong
With the onslaught of the warmer weather, thoughts turn to summer clothes. Time to lose the annual Christmas cheesecake butt and chocolate butter cookie hips just to keep the Hanes Her Way undies from riding up. Thong, my ass. Those things are just wrong. How the hell do you walk with your underwear up your butt? OK. If I looked like SI's Bar Refaeli maybe I'd think otherwise, but have you noticed she walks funny?
Fellow blogger Longrooffan doesn't care about Bar Refaeli. Nope. He's more concerned with matters of science that's why he sent me the following info.
Just in time for the skimpy clothes season, science has come through with a proven weight management method:
Booze.
Yup. I'm gonna get me a big bottle of Barefoot Bubbly and a straw and watch my butt melt away. Dr. Lu Wang from Boston's Brigham and Women's Hospital said it was OK. Actually, what he said was that women who are relatively slim that swill down 15 to less than 40 grams of booze a day were less likely to become BMWs (Big Maine Women - figure out your own state acronym) as they age.
This means there is no hope for Oprah 'cause she could suck down a gallon of Tangueray a day and she'll always see her butt without even turning around.
A short shot or a pony shot = 1 ounce = 30 grams. I haven't calculated the alcohol value for a glass of Barefoot Bubbly yet, and I don't plan to, 'cause there's nothing better than cheap booze with bubbles so it has to be good for you.
Watch out Melanie Nunez Fronckowiak, winner of the Best Butt Contest in 2008. My Fronckowiak's gonna beat your Fronckowiak by the 4th of July.
She walks funny, too.
Once you get over the photo above, you can check out Dr. Lu Wang's theory on booze and butts.
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26 comments:
Yanks are famous for big butts. It is getting that way here. However you would not dress in a thong just yet, not with the wind from Siberia freezing the butt.
I so agree on the thong thing Deb! Some things are best left to the imagination... butt crack being one of those things! I'm just going to sit back and wait for the "D-D-D Best Butt Swimsuit Edition" with "Y-O-U" on the front cover... I'm curious what your Mainah swimsuit will be...
I'll drink to that!
LOL! Be sure to wear your thong so that it shows above your pants/shorts, highlighting your tattoo. Also, don't forget a top. It's cold in Maine.
I hope the bubbly shrinks bellies, too.
Fewer cookies might shrink bellies but that wouldn't be much fun.
Sigh.
I can't stand thongs either, Deb. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Who wants to walk around with their underwear in their crack. I'd be pulling at them all the time, and wouldn't THAT be sexy. pffft.
TJ, Deb's Maine swimsuit would be a full length down-filled parka...
Although I'd wager she'd look good wearing nothing at all... ;)
As for the story, I don't think beer works in quite the same way. I've noticed it adds to the dimension of the gut...
I think MNF has a BFA but - hey - you know what they say about wearing red - and what is up with the knee socks and Cinderella shoes?
I guess they could not judge her if she was still wearing her pleated plaid Catholic school skirt from Saint Elsewhere...
I love my thongs, I have to admit.
ON MY FEET!
Last time I wore a thong it got lost and never came out.
I'm going to drink now.
I think a glass of wine is a healthy addition to one's diet... and preserves one's sanity.
I agree, a thong is uncomfortable...wait, did I say that out loud? ;)
Funny how I show up just when you put 'best butt' on your post...
(sniff) (sniff)
Thongs, pah, I could live with 'em or without 'em. Commando's more comfortable anyway :D I do however have to go and check out that story you mentioned, sounds interesting!
Adullamite: Yanks have big butts? Nooooo! Say it isn't so!
TJ: "Mainah" swimsuit? Fleece and flannel from head to toe. Very sexy. I don't think you could stand it.
Eva Gallant: There's your legitimate reason for swilling down those 5 o'clock gin and tonics! Wait. That's me, not you. Never mind.
RG: Never will there be fewer cookies. That's just wrong. Maybe I should make cookies with rum in them. Kill two birds with one stone.
Leeuna: Butt floss. Nothing nice about it from our stand point.
LL: Hey! Down works for ducks, so there!
Never wager more than you can handle.
Beer would definitely not work. Too many hops and foam gives one that bloated feeling.
Claire: I always knew you were an exhibitionist with those toe thongs.
I don't know why MNF has on those red knee-high stockings. Doesn't she know they can cut off the circulation and cause phlebitis?
Mrsblogalot: I've never bothered with a thong. It would be invisible so what's the point?
CatLadyLarew: I also think wine pickles people.
VE: I heard you were a butt man!
Nooter: *Slap*!
Skye: Commando can be drafty.
I need that butt.
Mary@Holy Mackerel: I don't think she'll give it to you without a fight.
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