DEBBIE DOES DRIVEL: stamps

The injustice of misaligned perforations on bill payment stubs sends me over the edge, but this particular horrific injustice not only sends me over the edge, but throws me clear off the cliff onto a bed of glass shards: US Postage Stamps. We need to burn those suckers in a huge bonfire.

Yes, I am a dinosaur. I pay my bills with a paper check, an envelope and a postage stamp. Get over it. It works. No account info stored in my PC, no Firefox crashes in the midst of paying a bill online, and I can even pay my bills in the midst of a power outage if I so desire. I don't need to stinkin' electricity to pay my bills.

Check out the US Postal Service's first class 44-cent stamp page. What do you do with a stamp? You put it on a Damned Satellite TV bill. Do you really think the bill opening people look at what type of stamp you used? Do you think they have contests for the best looking stamp of the month? IT"S A FREAKIN' STAMP! It's going to be shredded, torn, mauled and mangled. No one is going to look at what stamp you put on the damned envelope, they only want what is IN it, not on it.

So, as I was doing stamp research for this post, I saw this on the US Postal Service stamp page:

WTF?

I'd have a problem putting a US Postage stamp that celebrates a Muslem holiday on an envelope, even if it is The Damned Satellite TV bill. Oh, don't go getting all PC on me. Do you know what that Arabic writing on that stamp means? Me neither, and isn't that the kicker? Next we'll being see stamps that say "Lick 1 for English". That stamp looks like a good representation of what NutJob does on the rug after she eats something she shouldn't. I do know what "EID" means though: Evil Infidels Die.

There is even a stamp recognizing the Simpsons:

No way should that happen after Marge posed for Playboy.

Do you know what this is supposed to be?

WRONG!

It's titled "Christmas: Virgin and Child with the Young John the Baptist" Young John the Baptist looks like a child molester to me. I just love it when Mary is depicted as having blond hair and blue eyes. Even though her eyes are closed here, you KNOW they are blue, 'cause the Virgin Mary was of Swedish descent. Yup. That's why there was no room at the inn. Discrimination at it's finest.

Then you have the Bridezillas.

Oh heaven help me. The stamp must match the engraved invitation or GASP! What will people think? I'll tell you what they think. They open their mailbox, see that invitation in there, and I can guarantee they do not say "Oh, look at the pretty stamp", but something more along the lines of "Oh crap."

I stick with the "Forever" stamps. Ugly as hell, but so aren't bills and wedding invitations.